Will I Remember the Goodness of God?

Sitting in Starbucks, I take a sip of caramel goodness and mull over the graciousness of God. I wonder how much I take for granted. How many things I let pass by me without even taking the time to thank the Creator for them.

Things. People, Places, Plans, Conversations, Fresh Air, Vehicles, Bibles, Jobs, Water, Hard Work.

So. Many. Things.

But hear now, am I grateful? Is that a growl of complaint that just fell from my lips?
Why? Why do I allow myself to complain? To murmur in spite of the gifts God in His infinite kindness has bestowed. Are His ways not good enough for me? Do I think I know better? How dare I find fault in the ways of the Maker of the Universe!!

So as I sit here in introspection, my mind races. What if I trusted God?  Trusted that His ways are greater than my fears...than my plans. Trusted the Father to take care of His daughter?  Maybe He will dash my hopes and dreams. Maybe He will tear at the world so dear to me and break it all apart. Maybe He will bring me to my knees time and time again with painful cries of despair.

So be it. Let me fully TRUST that He will work all things together for HIS glory. Let me remember that I am His daughter. His servant. I have given myself completely to a terrifying and wonderful God.

"Safe?” said Mr. Beaver; “don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you" -The Lion, the witch, and the Wardrobe  

Do I put God in a box? Treat Him as if He's my lucky charm? My life-line if I'm trouble?  How dare I put myself in a place above Him! It's as if He is my servant and I call upon Him when I am in need. When did I become so comfortable with the idea of God that I lost my respect?

Respect. A vital word. Why is it be counted as wise to have a FEAR of God? Maybe because He has every right to squash me like a bug. Maybe because He holds the whole universe in the palm of His hand...perfectly in balance, all while attending to the thoughts and emotions and actions of the billions of people on earth. Yet, even though we are commanded to fear God, we are also told to draw near to God. Seek His face.

The balance of a reverent awe (respect) and a trusting intimate relationship with the Savior. How could we understand it all? 

"Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it." Psalm 139:6

But I have learned that we can ask the Father. He knows we are but dust. He understands our confusion and our utter humanness. That's why He also made it possible for us to ask for wisdom. Wisdom from Him.

"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him." -James 1:5

My expensive coffee is almost gone, and I wonder if I will remember the graciousness of God. If I will call to memory His infinite wisdom when a complaint is pressing on my lips. Lord, I beg of You wisdom. Eyes to see Your goodness in my pain.